Arctic Mama versus Sonic Berry? Quark Juggler versus Horse Jacket? Hamburger Arcade?
Eric, have you lost your damn fool mind? What kind of nonsense are you spewing?
Well, I thought that this year I’d give you a peek behind the curtain as to how we do these brackets every year. We used to do an entire convoluted routine so that we could both have a blind tasting. It involved people leaving the room. Pieces of paper. Cyphers. It was very confusing, and if you made a mistake (or just needed more whiskey to help you make a decision) there was no way to recreate what happened.
But nowadays, we have an ever so simple process. I seed the whiskey in the bracket. Then I pour 200 mL bottles of each of the contestant whiskeys and label them with a nonsense name. Finally, I make a separate bracket with the nonsense names and give that and the 200 mL bottles to my wife. After that, she takes care of everything. She has no idea what is in each bottle due to the nonsense name. She pours and keeps track of the winners while we do our tastings. And all I need to do is taste and write. It’s a pretty slick system.
And it means that everything is a true surprise. When we finished the final tasting and revealed who won each round, there were real surprises. It was more fun for us than when we knew who was in each tasting but didn’t know which glass was which whiskey.
So who are the participants and how did they get chosen? Well, every year I try to put in limitations that will force me to choose a new set of participants. Well, mostly new, anyway. This year I limited myself to only whiskeys that are available in handles (1.75 L bottles for those unaware of the term). Now trends in packaging have made it so that the term “handle” is not really appropriate anymore. I can’t think of a single “handle” that actually has a handle on it these days. A grip maybe, but not a handle. And many don’t even have that. But in any case, I like the shorthand of not needing to say 1.75-liter bottle.
Here are the rules that governed who was chosen. These are based on the same rules that I’ve used for most of the prior eight editions of this contest.
It has to be Straight Bourbon Whiskey. No blends or whatever. And if it is straight and doesn’t say it? Too bad. If the words Straight Bourbon Whiskey don’t appear on the label you are not qualified. A man needs standards after all.
My usual rules state that bottles need to be $15 or under for a 750 mL bottle or under $20 for a liter bottle. Following the math, that means handles need to be under $35.
Participants were seeded based on age and then proof. If you are over four years old, you don’t need to put the age on the label. Under that and you are required to say how old it is. If you stated the age and didn’t need you, you would get a nod. If you did it because you were required to, then someone else got the nod over you. After that, higher proof means a higher seed.
These were tasted completely blind. Until the final tasting was completed, neither my wife nor I had any clue what was in each bottle.
And now that we know how they got here, let’s meet the contestants under their real names. The number one overall seed is Arctic Mama otherwise known as Heaven Hill’s Evan Williams Bottled in Bond. As the highest proof entrant in the four-year-old or older age range, it gets the first seed. It starts out going against Sonic Berry aka Colonel Lee. An old brand that is now listed as being bottled by Barton Brands. It was chosen by a coin flip as one of three bottles that were three years old and 80° proof. The number two seed is the Giant Charmer, Four Roses who will be facing off against Beam Suntory’s Old Crow, aka Barrel Shakes.
Across the way in Division Two, we have Quark Juggler or Evan Williams 1783 in the number one spot facing off against Total Wine’s TerrePURE brand Winchester otherwise known as Horse Jacket. Finally, we have the most expensive entry, a bottling from IJW Whiskey, coming in one penny under the rules at $34.99 in Hamburger Arcade or McFarlane’s Reserve going up against the least expensive entry in Laird’s Banker’s Club Bourbon (Fire Pirate) which I bought for under $20 for the handle.
A lot of new faces this time. Only three have been here before in the form they are now. Evan Williams 1783 has competed previously but has undergone a proof bump and reformulation since then. This one was a lot of fun. Who you got? Any upsets that you see on the horizon? Let us know down in the comments.
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